[ Slow instrumental music plays ]
[ Telephones ringing ]
[ Static ]
Everybody, right back to it.
- Who's on Indy? - Right here.
- Cut f ootage in five minutes. Can you do it? - Yes. Kim?
- I'm gonna need sound. - We'll get it.
- Kim, they've still got 10 minutes of copy. - I'm on it.
Thank you. No-huddle off ense, everybody!
Dave, is ther e time f or a camera test?
You gotta run a quick one, but I need the first team.
Kim, first team.
- Chris, can you get with graphics? - On it.
- Will? - Control room.
Yes!
- What ar e you doing? - What? - What?
- What ar e you two doing? - Us?
- Yes. - We'r e standing her e.
Guys, we'r e on the air in 15 minutes and 30 seconds.
Ar en't ther e many things you'r e supposed to be doing?
- Yes. - Then what ar e you doing?
Ther e was a bomb scar e.
- I know. Casey... - Ther e was a bomb scar e.
Did you know the two of you have been r epeating that
over and over f or the last hour and 20 minutes?
- Do you know you've been r epeating that over and over? - Yes.
- Why? - Ther e was a bomb scar e. - Ther e was!
- It's over now. - Well, it worked.
- We'r e scar ed. - Casey!
Dana, somebody just tried to blow up this building,
and you people ar e walking around
like somebody didn't just try to blow up this building.
Nobody tried to blow up the building.
They thr eatened to blow up the building.
Oh, please. Get to work.
Was this just the herd instinct,
or did we actually get an "all clear" f rom someone in authority?
- They didn't find the bomb. - This is a huge building.
They searched f or an hour and 20 minutes.
I can't find my car keys in an hour and 20 minutes.
They have very advanced ways of detecting these things.
- Do they? - Yes.
Two, f our, six on a hard count - bam, bam, bam.
Dave: Got it. - Well, what ar e they?
- What ar e what? - What ar e the advanced ways they have of detecting these things?
W-W-What ar e the advanced ways?
Well, as I understand it, [Clears throat] they use dogs.
- I'm out of her e. - Right behind you.
- Oh, get ahold of yourselves, would you? - Dogs?
Dogs, yes, specially trained dogs.
- We want to meet them. - Guys.
We want to meet the dogs right now.
Okay, and what will you say to the dogs when you meet them?
- She's got a decent point. - Yeah.
- Pittsburgh put Steve Boyer and Randy McNeal on waivers. - That's a story.
Yes, it is. Don't you think that's a story?
Yeah. You know what else is a story?
- That somebody tried to blow us up? - Yeah.
These two ar e the biggest babies.
Hey, you're af raid of fish, okay,
and I'm af raid of dying in a hail of shrapnel.
- Who's crazier? Natalie: There's a contest.
Dana: McNeal and Boyer in the 30s.
Get paintbox on an over-the-shoulder.
Thank you. Fellas, you got 10 minutes of copy,
and you got to get into wardrobe.
We'r e just saying, did they look hard?
Like, did they look at the bottom drawer of our filing cabinet?
- We never use that drawer. - Everything's fine. Jer emy, isn't everything fine?
- Yes. - Everything's fine.
- How do you know? - Jer emy just told me. Chris, get me Salt Lake.
- Jer emy. - They use dogs.
Do you know what a bomb looks like?
Actually, I don't.
- Does anyone? Chris? - No.
- Will? Dave? - No. - No.
But we'r e betting a German shepherd can pick one out.
- They smell them. - They smell them?
- Yes. Chris? Chris: Salt Lake's up.
- They'r e trained in this? - Yes. Dave?
Camera thr ee to mark.
- Well-trained? - What?
- Their sense of smell - it's superior? - Yes.
Let's see one through five, and I need Cincinnati. Dan, Casey -
Dan: Uh, quick question. - What?
These dogs - do they ever get a cold?
Chris: Cincinnati's up.
- No. No. - They don't?
- Never? - No.
What ar e you, a vet?
Please!
Is ther e anyone who can say anything that will make us f eel
like the smart thing to do is to stay in this building right now?
In 10 minutes, 3 1/2 million people will tune in
to watch the two of you on television.
Many of them will be women.
- All right. - Okay.
10 minutes live.
Alan, thanks f or holding.
I'm in Isaac's office. I know I saw it on his desk.
[ Knock on door ]
It's gonna be in, uh, outline f orm,
but he's kept me pr etty well up to speed on it, so I think -
The deficit overlay?
That sounds fine.
We can meet at 4 :00 if you like.
No, wait, I'm sorry.
I've got a rundown at 4 :00.
We can meet at 6:30.
Good. Thanks.
I spoke to him just this morning.
He sounds awf ully good.
Yes, I spoke to him just this morning.
I will. [ Laughs ] Thanks.
You spoke to Isaac this morning?
No, I spoke to Esther. Isaac couldn't -
He was unable to come to the phone when I called.
Was there any sign of this?
Sign of what?
Of Isaac having a stroke - was ther e any sign of this?
- Was ther e any sign of Isaac having a stroke... - Yes.
other than Isaac having a stroke?
Dana, it's unbecoming of you to blame me f or any part of this.
It's a shame, J.J., 'cause I want so much to be attractive to you.
You know, we'r e going to have to work together.
Yes, I know.
For instance, I can help you with the deficit overlay.
Isaac kept me up to speed.
And if you want to cr eate the impr ession that Isaac's healthier than he is -
f or instance, if you want to cr eate the impr ession
that Isaac's still in control of the show
when clearly he's unable to even speak on the telephone -
I can help you ther e, too.
He wasn't able to come to the phone when I called this morning, J.J.
He's able to speak.
He just had a stroke, Dana.
Wher e was he, squar e-dancing?
- What do you want? - Ex cuse me?
What do you want?
I want to do my job. I want to help you, which is my job,
and I want to do it all without being tr eated
like the guy who just ran over your dog. How's that?
That's fine.
Look, you can't run the organization
and run the show at the same time.
I don't have to run the organization.
He can't talk on the telephone, Dana.
Right now, today.
I'm saying, right now, today, give some of your r esponsibilities to Sally.
- What's wrong with Natalie? - We have mor e confidence in Sally.
- I have mor e confidence in Natalie. - Be that as it may.
You want me to run the organization
but let the network make all the decisions?
- I want you and I to work together to ensur e that the network doesn't... - What?
f eel the need to bring in -
- An interim managing editor? - Yes.
- Ther e's no need to do that. - I agr ee.
That is a bad move. That is a wrong call.
And I'll stand in Luther's office and tell him.
That's a wrong call.
Luther could give a damn
what you think is a wrong call, Dana.
He car es what I think is a wrong call,
so don't sit ther e and think that I need you to like me.
I'm telling you the way it is.
- Hey. - Hey.
This is weird 'cause this is exactly wher e our office used to be.
We can continue this in the conf er ence room.
So, J.J., yesterday was inter esting.
How so?
- How so? - Yes.
Well, McKinney had 41 points against the Clippers,
the Diamondbacks won their f ourth in a row...
And then ther e was that thing wher e somebody tried to blow us up.
- Don't take it personally. - No, I think I will take it personally.
The bomb thr eat was a hoax.
- What was it about? - Denny Denton.
- What about him? - They don't like his radio show.
I don't like his radio show, either.
- You know what I do? Change the station. - What?
Would that the world wer e as enlightened as you, Dan.
- Oh, wer e that it would. - Were.
- What? - Never mind.
Thank you. When can I see rough features?
- Two hours. - Let's go.
Uh, Dana?
[ Telephone ringing ]
Esther said he's doing a little better today.
I'll call in a little bit.
Dan: You all right?
Yeah.
With him?
[ Laughs ] Yeah.
[ Telephone ringing ]
So, we'r e two likable guys, right?
- I think so. - I think we're very likable.
- I'm liked wher ever I go. - I'm liked wherever I go and wherever you go.
We'r e perf ectly likable.
Yes.
[ Sighs ]
And yet somebody tried to blow us up.
That's what I'm saying.
- Does this include Seattle? - Yes. It does. - No. It doesn't.
- The film f rom last night? - Yes.
- Seattle? It does. - Yes. It does.
- It doesn't. - Dave?
Hey, Betty, Wilma - is Seattle on the tape?
[ Knocking on glass ]
Ex cuse me.
- Hey. - Hi.
Good news - Pluto isn't being demoted as a planet.
I need to talk to you. Can we go in the editing room?
- Sur e. - Thanks.
Uh, it was gonna be demoted as a planet.
It was gonna r eceive minor-planet status,
but appar ently ther e was an outpouring of protest.
Doesn't the whole thing strike you as f unny?
What I'm gonna say might well seem abrupt and terrible,
but when I say it, I want you to r emember that the key word -
the key word - is "temporarily."
"Temporarily" is the key word,
so ther e's not gonna be any r eason to be upset or unhappy, okay?
I think we should temporarily - temporarily -
stop seeing each other.
Okay.
- I'm serious. - I know.
- I think we should temporarily stop seeing each other. - Okay.
- I'm serious. - I know.
- Why ar e you not unhappy? - I don't acknowledge it.
- You don't acknowledge it? - I don't r ecognize the br eakup. I'm sorry.
- No, you can't not r ecognize it. You can't! - I am. I did.
- Natalie, this is a very hard time right now. - I know.
- My head is coming apart. - I know.
I need to be able to get my lif e in order,
to say nothing of what's going on with Isaac.
I mean, this is a good time to give Dana everything we've got.
- I know. - We need to stop seeing each other.
No.
Wait.
I br eak up with you.
Hmm, not this time.
- No. I gotta go back to work. - Natalie, this is unilateral!
I don't need you to sign off on this in order f or it to be valid!
Sweetie, if it makes you f eel better to br eak up with me,
that's fine, but I don't br eak up with you.
It doesn't work like that!
It's working like that right now.
- Does or does not the film contain Seattle? - Hang on!
- It does. - It does. - Appar ently, it does.
- I'm not kidding, Natalie! I'm totally serious! - Would you guys like us to step out?
- No. Jer emy's trying to br eak up with me, but it won't take. - Natalie!
Quiet. Show me Seattle.
Hey, Dan.
What do you say, Phil?
Hey, Dan.
Celia, you'r e a knockout.
[ Knocking to "Shave and a Haircut" ]
Hey.
- How you doin'? - Bef or e I get mad at you, how is Isaac?
- His blood pr essur e's normal. - Oh, that's something.
- Why ar e you mad at me? - Why wer e you avoiding me during the bomb scar e?
- I wasn't avoiding you. - You wer e.
We wer e out on the str eet f or over an hour. It was a perf ectly good bomb scar e.
- I tried to find you. - No, you didn't,
and every time I tried to find you, someone would say
you had just left the place that someone else had just said you had been right bef or e.
- That was a truly spectacular sentence. - Danny...
It was a bomb scare, Rebecca. I was serpentining.
I was employing the covert ordinance tactics that I learned.
Wher e did you learn covert ordinance tactics?
'Nam.
- You'r e avoiding me. - Yes.
- No, you are. - I just admitted it.
- You ar e, Danny. - I'm saying I am.
Why ar e you avoiding me?
- Why? - Yeah.
Take a wild, flailing shot in the dark.
Take a ridiculous, nothing-on-the-line,
"Hail Mary toss in the backcourt" heave
as to why I might be avoiding you.
'Cause you thought Steve and I wer e divorced
when, in r eality, we'r e only separated,
and Steve wants us to go back into counseling,
and I'm on the f ence about it, and you hate Steve?
- That's amazing. - Dan -
That's amazing that you got it on the first guess like that.
I'm gonna take you on tour. We'r e gonna make some money, me and you.
I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about going back into counseling with Steve.
I never said we needed to stop dating.
I will absolutely not stand in the way of another man's marriage.
Then what ar e you doing her e?
What am I doing her e?
Yes.
I came to say hi.
Hi.
[ Laughs ]
No kidding.
I know you wer e looking f or me yesterday,
but I r eaffirm my position that I'm her e f or you,
but it'd be wrong f or us to date.
But it should be noted that I'm her e f or you.
Wher e?
Her e.
So your strategy f or this is to be wonderf ul.
- Yes. - Listen...
- You know why? - Why?
It works every time.
- Hey, Dan. - Hey, Stuart.
[ Snaps fingers ] Gotta go.
[ Sighs deeply ]
Sally, I hope this won't disrupt things too much on the 2:00 A.M.
It won't.
- It's just f or a week or so. - I understand.
- Just till Isaac gets better. - I'm just surprised.
- Ar e you? - Surprised that you asked me.
- Why? - I would've thought that you'd have mor e confidence in Natalie.
- No. - I'd have thought you would.
[ Laughs ] No.
- Good news. - What?
- Pluto's still a planet. - It was touch-and-go there for a while?
Don't under estimate Pluto. Pluto doesn't know the word "quit."
Natalie, in Isaac's absence,
I'm gonna have Sally assume some of my f unctions
while I assume some of Isaac's.
- I had a hunch. Thanks f or helping out, Sally. - Sure.
- It's just till Isaac gets back. - Right.
- And I'm talking about some of my f unctions, not a lot, hardly any. - Right.
I understand.
Casey: Hey.
Guys, I'm having Sally take over a very small number of my f unctions.
- That's fine. - Not many f unctions at all.
- Could I say something, please? - Sure.
Natalie and I have broken up.
- We have! - In his head.
- I put it in writing. - That's sweet.
All right, just so you know,
- if I wanted to, right now, I could ask out other women. - No.
- I could. - No.
Dana, would you like to go out with me?
- I can't. You'r e seeing Natalie. - Why not?
That's it! I'm calling the police!
We've got the whiparound with what?
Baltimor e, New York, Boston.
Oakland, San Francisco, and L.A.
Featur es?
Mike Richter, the Chinese swimmer, and the Lakers' f rontcourt.
- Wher e ar e they? - 20, 50, and 60.
- Wher e ar e we on time? - We'r e six minutes long.
Let's get it down to two by the 10:00. That is all.
Natalie: Back her e at 10:00.
Hang on. I've been handed some inf ormation I've r equested
on, basically, what to do in the event you think the building you'r e in
might blow up at any moment.
For instance, it says you should stay away f rom unsecured walls
or open electrical wiring.
So, it's a good thing you and I don't work in f ront of a f ake backdrop,
over which hangs like a million volts of electrical equipment.
- Yeah. - Back her e at 10:00.
[ Clears throat ]
- I need to talk to you. - Sur e.
- My mother and f ather ar e getting a divorce. - I know that.
My f ather's been having an aff air with another woman f or 27 years.
- I know that, too. - That's since bef or e I was born.
And someone - I'm not saying who -
has a little birthday coming up.
Natalie, stop walking.
Nothing is the same anymor e.
Many things ar e the same.
- Natalie... - I believe that your decision-making skills
ar en't the best right now.
I'm taking you into r eceivership.
We'r e not broken up.
He can hear you, though, right?
He understands what you'r e saying?
Well, tell him everything her e is fine.
Tell him to watch the show.
Tell him everything is fine.
I wish he'd let me do mor e, Esther.
All right. Goodbye.
Isaac's wif e?
Yeah. He's doing better today.
Good.
Sally, tell me you didn't have anything to do
with Natalie getting muscled to the side.
You know, f or someone I'm sleeping with,
sometimes you don't say the nicest things to me.
I'm sorry.
Ther e's gonna be a pr ess conf er ence
after the owners meet tonight in Tucson.
I can get you on the satellite f eed between 10:20 and 10:40.
- Do you want it? - Yeah...
- You got it. - but ask Natalie first.
I got a phone call, Casey, that's all.
How many people know about us?
- How many have you told? - I've told Dan.
- Then that's how many know. - Okay.
Am I seeing you tonight?
Call me after your show.
Should I just come over?
Yeah, just come over.
Okay.
But talk to Natalie about the other thing.
Okay.
I'm sorry about Isaac.
Thanks. I mean, yeah, okay.
- Hey, Dan. - Hey, Sally.
- What the hell does that mean? - What?
No, I mean, what the hell does that mean?
What the hell does what mean?
"Hey, Sally."
It meant, "Hey, Sally."
Okay, so did I just totally come unglued?
Yeah. Like to see it in you.
It's a tense time. Glue's not gonna work.
Want to try it again?
Yeah.
Hey, Sally.
Hey, Dan.
Ther e you go.
Thanks.
She's totally unglued.
- We need to give that speech to Dana and Natalie. - What speech?
- The "unglued" speech. - It wasn't a speech.
It was a talkin' to, and we need to give it to Dana and Natalie.
I've noticed they'r e a little too calm.
- Oh, they'r e way too calm. - Frighteningly calm.
- They'r e gonna blow any second. - I've been thinking the exact same thing.
We can't def use the explosives,
but we can detonate them in an unpopulated ar ea.
Drive it out to the desert, wher e it can't hurt anybody.
That's right.
Now, if you've got some calm people,
and you want to make them upset,
- I say we'r e the guys to do it. - Yeah.
- Should we eat first? - Yeah.
[ Door opens ]
It's no problem, Alan.
He's got it her e someplace.
Uh, listen...
I'm gonna find it, and I'll call you back.
Thank you.
No, it's no problem.
[ Laughs ]
Oh.
Sally put together a Q&A f or the f eed f rom Tucson.
Good.
Natalie, it's what J.J. wanted.
He made a thr eat, and I believed him.
It's okay.
This isn't a good time to fight with the network.
I understand.
- Thank you. - It's no problem.
Dan: It's no problem. Casey: Don't worry about it.
- Everything's fine. - Couldn't be better.
No big deal.
- What's going on? - Well, let's see.
The building had to be evacuated last night
because a group of God-f earing people
said they didn't like Denny Denton's impr ession of the son of God.
Why? Because Denny Denton does him with a lisp.
My girlf riend, whom I've grown quite fond of,
is thinking of going back to her husband,
but that's just 'cause he tr eats her bad.
The only thing in Jeremy's life
that makes him happy right now is Natalie,
so he's decided this would be a good time to get rid of Natalie.
The network's decided this is a good time to show Dana who's boss,
so unless you do something in lickety-split, his name's gonna be J.J.
And, oh, yeah, Isaac's lying in a bed at Columbia Pr es with a stroke.
Anything else?
We got the satellite f eed f rom Tucson.
Then we'r e all set.
Good show, everybody. Let's eat 'em up!
We'r e women.
What?
We're women.
You'r e women.
- Yes. - I have to say, Danny,
that in both their cases,
- ther e's considerable evidence to support that theory. - Dana...
We'r e in charge. We'r e women in charge,
and we'r e keeping it together.
That's what we do.
- That's what you do? - That's right.
Well, we'r e men. We'r e petrified. That's what we do.
We found that giving into our fears has made us stronger.
And not just a little pathetic.
- Right, mostly stronger. - Yeah.
So, if you'r e scar ed, if you'r e sad,
if you'r e mad, you should tell us.
It's entir ely possible we'd be able to say or do something to make you f eel better.
That's the other thing we do.
Did you say a lisp?
Yes.
- Denny Denton was doing Jesus with a lisp? - Yes.
And that's why somebody tried to blow us up?
Yes.
- I still hate you, you know? - Yes.
Isaac had a stroke,
and somebody tried to blow up the building.
We'r e not having our best week, ar e we?
No...
but ther e's some good news coming in 11 seconds, though.
- Good news? What? - Yeah.
- You r eady? - Three minutes to air.
First team to the studio, please.
Have a good show.
Hang in ther e with us, Natalie.
Jer emy?
The network.
I'll tell them I can use Sally's help, but I'm gonna run my show,
and J.J. can take a seat in the bleachers.
Whatever you need.
I need you, and I need Isaac back,
and I need people to stop trying to blow up the building.
- You got me. - That's a start.
Let's go! Two minutes!
Let's eat 'em up! Isaac's watching tonight.
And I think you ar e absolutely right about Jer emy, by the way.
Ref using to accept the br eakup?
Do not accept it. It is not r ecognized.
It is not valid.
I agr ee.
Roll VTR. 60 seconds live.
Stand by 2, 2A, 4, and 5.
- Loading F /X-5. - F /X-5 is loaded.
- No, it's not. - It's loaded.
'Cause I just loaded it now.
I will kill you both with my hands.
- You'r e all set. Have a good show. - Thank you, Alyson.
- Alyson... - Yes?
Don't stand too close to this wall.
[ Knocking ] It's not r eal.
In f act, everybody listen up.
[ Snaps fingers ]
The metallurgy, the structural wiring, the glass -
I know we've come to think of this place as home, but it's a shooting gallery.
If you hear ticking, run f or your lives.
Okay, good show.
Dave: 30 seconds live.
I'd just like to confirm f or everybody that I am Jer emy's girlf riend.
- I am his girlf riend, and he's seen me naked many times. - Natalie!
Sometimes I do a little dance.
- Eyes f ront, mister! - Dave: In 10.
- Dan. - Yeah?
I just wanted to say that if anything terrible
ever had to happen to one of us,
I'd want it to be you.
Thanks.
In 3... 2...
Good evening. From New York City,
I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall.
Those stories, plus an Avalanche in Colorado,
Lightning in Tampa Bay,
and Warriors in the Golden State.
We've got the Suns moving into Phoenix,
Hurricanes in Miami, but guess what.
Pluto's still a planet.
All that coming up after this.
You'r e watching "Sports Night" on CSC, so stick around.
[ Rock music plays ]